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Jan. 2nd, 2006 @ 08:41 pm (no subject)
Current Music: Elliott Smith - Thirteen
So I'm feeling crap, and the fact that this page took five billion years to load only added to my bad mood. It doesn't make it any better that I know the fact I have my period and the weather is crap and I should be doing the washing up is what's really malking me angry. Because really apart from that my own life is pretty good at the moment (apart from the boys, but blah). I have places to go. Which is slightly scary, 7 days til Europe. And then i'll essentially be gone for 6 months.

And I don't think anyone will miss me.

*goes off to cry in her room with her emo music*
credit: pink__sparklies
Jan. 1st, 2006 @ 07:55 pm The clashing of crystal
Current Mood: lethargiclethargic
Current Music: The New Year - Death Cab 4 QT
I just wrote this entry and then it was deleted. I hate you lj.

Happy New year.

I had a strange night. Kirsten, Alex and I gathered at Chris's place, at about nine, and had a chat and were generally social. We went in to town to watch the fireworks which were pretty. Then we came home and startted on our three bottles of chmpagne, as you can imagine things went downhill from there. Ah, drunk people. Kirsten, Alex and I talked about periods and boobs, I think Chris felt a bit left out. I danced around the kitched causing Chris to remark "everyone says your a bad drunk and a crap dancer, but you're actuaally quite good" which was somewhat of a backhanded compliment. Discussion ensued and it was decided that I'm a good dancer and I "dance like I mean it", which I'm happy with. Discussion moved on to the fact that all the guys in our group think that Zoe is the hottest, but wouldn't sleep with her because "she's too small" (?). This led to some lovely drunken dialogue, Kirsten: Would you sleep with her Chris? Chris: Do you want an objective answer? Kirsten: Yes Chris: Well, yeah Kirsten: Basted. So Kirsten, Alex and I went into Chris's room and had a girl chat (Read: talked about nbys and sex) which was quite amusing and educational. We all crashed at about three. Today I was hungover.

Resolutions
One, Be brave in Vietnam
Two, Flirt with more boys (because it's fun and can lead to other fun stuff :P)
Three, Drink more beer (thanks Kirsten)
Four, Always lock phone away before drinking
credit: pink__sparklies
Dec. 26th, 2005 @ 05:57 pm Freight train rattled through my head
Current Mood: crappycrappy
Current Music: Wish You Well - Bernard Fanning
So there has been a scandalous lapse between entries, sorry. A lot has been going on. Cousins arriving, results (95.15!!), more relatives arriving, realization that relatives can actually be quite annoying, extreme angst with my mother, grandmother dying, comforting cousins, Christmas. Caught up yet?

I am sad about gran, of course. She was a very intelligent, caring, vibrant lady. She wrote anti Bush poetry. She taught me to play scategories and wrote me long letters. I feel guilty about my laziness in replying to her letters. However, she was old and sick.

Am currently in a crap mood because Charlotte has just rung me up to say she isn't coming to dinner with the rest of her family tonight. I'm not that surprised. She generally doesn't. But I would have really liked someone to talk to tonight. She didn't even try that hard to sound sick on the phone.

Anyway, am going shopping tomorrow with K. Hopefully this will cheer me up. Might buy a camera.

Where is my happy Christmas spirit?
credit: pink__sparklies
Dec. 17th, 2005 @ 06:42 pm You Can Tell
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Dresden Dolls - Girl Anachronism
I really am very, very tired. I spent eight hours and fifteen minutes cherry sorting today. Possibly the most boring job in the world, but as my mother helpfully reminded me I can't afford to be picky. It reminds me of last summer, which is nice, but I winder how much things have changed. A lot, I think, which is just as well. This year I'm working on Bruny which is kind of cool, and K is working too. On Bruny there are boys in the packing shed *shock horror*, at Domeneys (where I worked last year) boys didn't sort. One of them is quite lovely. He was standing in the wrong place today which was upsetting. It was fun working with K but I feel certain she thinks she's so much better than me because she has her licence and has a boyfriend, even though she's younger than me. But then I get really bitchy abd bitter and twisted and then I hate myself. So I'm trying not to think about it. Whoever says girls aren't competitive has no idea.

My back is sunburnt from a few days ago as is my face, which is making me feel very sleepy. My parents are watching a wild life doco and getting way too involved. Oups, may have just yelled unreasonably at them. Other news? none. Life continues.

This entry is unthought and unedited. *falls asleep on keyboard*
credit: pink__sparklies
Dec. 12th, 2005 @ 11:20 pm took a long time to stand, took an hour to fall
Current Music: A Passing Feeling - (the late and great) Elliott Smith
So my mother and I just had our ritualised post-work (for her) conversation. When she works lates she gets home at 11ish and I make her an earl grey and we chat. I think I manage my parents a lot better separately. This afternoon dad was working on his table in the family room. He has pretty much assembled it but the slidy bit (to enable it to expand) doesn't work yet. He was applying oil to it. Boiled linseed I think. So I helped him by rubbing it in with a cloth. The afternoon had echoes of the times when, before I started school, I would spend my time in dad's shed. He would set up a seat and 'desk' of bessa(sp?) blocks and give me wood, nails and those hard to write with builder's pencils. Because my mother worked ('only three days a week to begin with' I can hear her telling me indignantly) I spent a lot of time with dad.

We had re-heated curry for dinner which we ate in front of the tv (quite rebellion against my mother and rather practical due to the state of the table). We watched the program about the making of Imagine tonight on ABC. My dad and I like the album. It was a bit dodgy, but interesting nonetheless. The way they dressed! It reminded me of people dressing up in 70s clothes, and over doing it! Dad is of course anti-Yoko and while I kind of am too I had to stick up for her. I really liked what she said about love, that it is about being relaxed, being able to let your guard down. John's singing, even when he was just messing around was amazing, such a talent. We made appropriate comments about the size of their house and the irony of singing "imagine if we had no possessions". I really enjoy the fact that dad and I have things in common like this, I suppose mum and I have horses. I have the feeling that dad never had that kind of connection with his parents when he was young, and certainly not now.

In other news, events in Sydney make me feel sick, especially pictures like this:
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/race-riots-spread-to-suburbs/2005/12/11/1134235951313.html It all seems so bizarre, so extreme. I feel unqualified to comment; Tassie must be the least multicultural state. My friend Clare whose mother is Greek and who was born here used to get comments at school, nothing really nasty. It was horrible high school stuff rather than racism. Kirsten got picked on because she had big hands, Clare because she had an olive complexion. I think I hear most racist comments about Aboriginals. It's hard to know if this would actually lead to action but I know some people (hello Woodbridge bogans) who I can imagine reacting pretty badly to any perceived violence against them from a particular group. I wonder if it simply that ethnicity is the difference between the factions or it is actually racially motivated. Oh, I wasn't going to comment, right? Anyway, am doing the blog rounds, trying to make sense of it.

Also: After I left the party on Saturday Something Happened. No one will tell me what, Clare said it wouldn't be 'ethical' to do so. It is kind of frustrating and concerning, can't imagine what could be so bad. And I wouldn't be posting it on the net if I knew what it was, really, I am trustworthy.
credit: pink__sparklies
Dec. 11th, 2005 @ 09:32 pm All the lonely people.
Current Music: Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles
My friends had a party on saturday night, there was a south pacific theme. I really did try to enjoy it. But I wasn't drinking, which never helps. There was also not nearly enough food and far too many couples. I had one nice conversation with Jenna, this is because we don't actually talk that much so we actually had news. So she told me all her gossip and I told her mine, we also talked about having different groups of friends and acting differently with them plus Hobart v. Melbourne. The party started at 5, ridiculously early. So by 8 everyone was pretty tipsy. By 9 James was throwing up in the garden. It was amusing how even though he was obviously feeling pretty sick he still managed to insult me. We gave him water and blankets and so forth. Later I was left to 'keep an eye on him' since he had water, was warm enough and I didn't think he needed patting on the back I just kind of sat there being helpless. Kirsten got pissed off with Chris because he was drunk. So he was all mopey, but then they made up. So while I was in the back garden being helpless with Jim I could hear them giggling and canoodling. Went on a nice walk with Christian who told me about his exploits in Melbourne (spending $300 on alcohol and going to a strip club and a gay bar, all in one night).

Some times I think I must just be missing the party gene.

So the party was crap but life in general is good. Although it is getting to the point that I must stop pretending to write my resolution and actually do it. Went on a long walk with my dog today which was very hot, thought about things - dogwalking is rurning out to be a substitute for horse riding.

Am looking at pictures of friends. Just realised they all so much cuter/hotter than me. Is quite a mystery why they put up with me.
credit: pink__sparklies
Dec. 9th, 2005 @ 10:35 pm I'm the next big thing.
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Beverly Hills - Weezer :P
Your 2005 Song Is
Beverly Hills by Weezer "My automobile is a piece of crap My fashion sense is a little whack And my friends are just as screwy as me" You breezed through 2005 in your own funky style!

Well, that interested the music nerd in me. It's an ok song. Tell me what you get!

The LJ commenting system is very random at the moment. I have other things to say but lack the energy.

But: Lots of sad/depressing/mildly upsetting things happened today.

  • John Lennon was killed, 25 years ago.
  • The government was generally crap, spent most of the day making the senate debate bills that everyone agreed on (establishment of a new University and funding for Mongolia, yes Mongolia) so they could offer the Family First guy many a bribe to support the VSU legislation before ramming it through the senate. Good on Barnaby though.
  • Today Today had their final show. Which I was very upset about until I realised I'm not going to be here for most of next year anyway. They are doing a new TV show.
  • I found out that Chris Taylor, from Today Today, is THIRTY!! That's so old :(
  • Dad yelled at me for leaving out the milk over night

All I want for Christmas is a paid LJ account :p

credit: pink__sparklies
Dec. 8th, 2005 @ 12:35 am (no subject)
english writing styled wankCollapse )
credit: pink__sparklies
Dec. 7th, 2005 @ 11:59 pm Cellar Door
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
So I just watched Donnie Darko for the first time.

Spoilers Ahoy!Collapse )

But moving away from the evil bunny. I had 4 immunisations for Vietnam today. Two in each arm. The Travel Doctor lady was so off putting. "If you get this you will get permanent brain damage, the injection doesn't protect a hundred percent" "rabies is universally fatal if untreated, have this needle and you'll only need two needles if you're bitten". My mother (the nurse) was very unconvinced and unimpressed by how ridiculously expensive the whole thing was.

I also went to talk to Jaffa, he walked up to me and smelt me up and down and let me pat him on his nose, which he never normally does. He went well in his lesson today, and I was so happy :) I don't mind if the girl doesn't buy him, I just don't want him to disgrace himself. I imagine this is a similar feeling to sending your child of to kindergarten.
credit: pink__sparklies
Dec. 6th, 2005 @ 12:18 am Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: calender hung itself - bright eyes
Do you ever have that feeling, that sudden realisation "maybe I'm fallling apart?" having a break down, whatever. Because you always know in movies because of the music and the lighting and in some cases the appearance of a huge rabbit. Not that I am, falling apart, understand. I just have this sneeking suspision that staying up until 2am, pottering around the internet reading blogs and not actually talking to anyone is not exactly... normal? Healthy? A sign of a well adjusted person?

But I can't sleep because my brain just keeps ticking, a never ending parade of 'what ifs?' About my exams, where I should go to Uni, the high possibility of not coping in Vietnam, ridiculous thoughts of past desicions/mistakes.

But it's ok. I've opened a packet of Ginger Nut biscuits, and people who eat Ginger Nut biscuits are normal. I'm not going to get upset about the fact I can't write anything that makes grammatical sense.

This is just probably one of those "trying to get attention" blogs. eek.

I want to write something, something fiction. Someone give me a start.

Also: I love this song. I could never 'get' bright eyes, but the other day this came on and it clicked, it's so gritty, bitter and real.

And: I still love The Libertines, but... oh Pete.

Plus: Queer as Folk is... one of my favourite things. Brian and Justin are getting married :D :D

Ohhh, there's a "which character are you most like" quiz http://www.showcase.ca/queerasfolk/features/. Cool.
credit: pink__sparklies